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I've been learning to be Life, which is different from living. Being life fills me with gratitude and humility everyday, and in this process I re-learn how to live: surrender to the evolution of everything, towards "making the right choice in the right moment for the right reasons", in every occasion.
One central dimension of this learning is regular contact with a depth we cannot access with the mind, to the Pure Being that is who I really am. This contact occurs with the practice of meditation. In the dimension of Being I discover, in profound peace, that I am pure consciousness in an infinite and eternal space. I have no past and no future, no fear nor desire. This puts me in a very different place, from where I can face life's challenges in a free and creative way. And in that life I manifest in matter as man.
I am part of an evolutionary group of men who share values and questions on what does it mean to be a man in our time. To question and recognize very impersonal conditionings which are typical of humans in general and men in particular, how these determine the way we see ourselves and the way we see women and relate to them, is a task we are responsible for taking on.
The group is committed to the evolution of consciousness and culture and to the continuous cultivation of integrity. The level of trust there is between us has a depth I had never experienced before, not even with my parents, brothers or best friends. The way we can be vulnerable and transparent, how we strip ourselves of our self-image and how we break old ideas we got used to have about ourselves and the world, is so intense, revealing and liberating that it fills us with energy and gratitude. Each meeting of the group is full of full surrender, without masks, without reserve, without doubt. All the experience gathered there is put at the service of each and everyone's evolution.
We are conscious of being the vanguard of the universe's evolution, its most advanced threshold (at least in this corner of our galaxy). The Universe thinking about itself and its own evolution, knowing itself in awe of its own creation, and questioning itself about the infinite possibilities in the paths of the future. This is what we are, as such we identify ourselves and share this common identity in a brotherhood that largely transcends the typical dimensions of human relationships. The men's group is actively occupied in recognizing and dismantling many of dynamics which have been origin of all of mankind's great problems.
I've been learning so much in the last 2 years and changed so much that I hardly recognize myself; I don't miss who I used to be, in spite of having lived always convinced I was a good person. Whenever I feel down with any problem, I just remind myself of feeling my heart beating, of how the matter it's made of originated in the stardust particles of the universe, of how it beats without my knowing how, beats on its own by miracle of an intelligence and energy I cannot understand with the mind, but that is who I am (and we all are!). And when I do this, everything is ok and the corners of my mouth bend upwards.