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Raquel P - Portuguese

Back to Meet the Women of the ALP Sangha

Raquel's Bio

WHAT IT MEANS TO BE PART OF ALP?

 

Being an ALP member has been unfolding to me as not being a member of something but being it. 
Living an awakened life is being myself with no filters and allowing life to unfold. Being ALP is a dream come true. Is transparency, truth, trust, love and will to evolve. 
Is not giving up on life, our passions, people, nature and love.
Is respecting people. Is having relationships with a quality that goes beyond the mind.
Is having 2 amazing human beings as teachers, friends and family.
Is having and being a Sangha that challenges limitation and separation and that supports each one's being.

SHARINGS from ALP Sangha FB page

Text 1

Dear Sisters and Brothers, me and David just came back to the Quinta from a weekend out in Figueira da Foz, for our first wedding anniversary (thank you Katja, Cynthia and Pete). This year celebration has been felt cooking for some days before Sunday, and as in the wedding day, it has a tone of a non personal celebration as well.

I am so touched by Awakened Life Project in a way that I have not been touched by anything before. Because ALP is not "just" a project. Is a way to live life. It is me. It is us. It is life.

Looking back at the past year, tears come to my eyes.

Looking at now, my heart expands of surprise and wonder.

This season at the Quinta was bigger than one could ever imagined. So many commited and beautiful volunteers came and served. Their commitement is still heart melting. Some of them extended their time as volunteers, participated in the women and men's retreats and then joinned the intensive. Their passion for ALP is big, transparent and heart breaking.

All the retreats that happened this year are mind blowing and so much more than that.

Everything that happens everyday seems like a mistery, and yet, it's felt and lived.

Life is calling for us. Sometimes calling very lowdly and others very silently.

And we only have two choices: to hear and go with the call or to ignore it.

Ignoring life makes one suffer. It's a waste.

To go with the call is evolution.

And the call is life calling for life.

And the call is a demand.

A demand to respond to and from what we know.

With humility, surrending to what we don't know.

What else do we have to do if not to respond?

A toast to Love. A toast to leanning in to Love and communion.

A toast to life.

A toast to Cynthia and Pete, dear teachers.

A toast to now.

A toast to the unknown.

A toast to the surprising life.

A big hug, looking forward for Sunday to be with you all.

Raquel Perdigão Williams

Text 2

Dear Sangha, I just woke up so alive and so happy! With an emptiness full of love, full of me, full of all of you. I am bursting of gratitude, calmness and a very alive and moving impulse.

We are co-creating something, that is nothing and all at the same time, that is beyond space and time, but that is happening now in our lives. That I can't grasp and yet I can put it in words.

That is an evolutionary life.

That is loving, transparent and trustworthy relationships.

I am where I want to be.

I am doing what I want to do.

I am living with who I want to live.

And yet, this wanting is so impersonal, because at the end, I see that I don't control anything! I just give myself to something bigger. I give myself as a present to myself and I live what wants to be lived.

Thank you.

Much love

Raquel.

Text 3

Diving into this big, and yet so simple truth is like diving into a very cold water stream. I want to do it, but I am afraid. I know, with all of me, that nothing is missing. And that's why I am in front of the computer writing, expressing my experience of completeness, by not going with fear. I close my eyes and I see my imaginary limits fading away. And I let myself go. With no wings, I fly. I feel the need to look ahead and see what's coming; do I have everything that i need for the life journey? I see the temptation of going to the mind, and only there. And I just look at my heart, with the intention to be free. i let go again. And let go, and let go, and let go, ... And suddenly I look in front of me and see a very strong, warm and tender light. And I smile, because I see that I am that light. That nothing separates me from me. I am complete because I am everything, and yet I am nothing! I experience that nothing is missing when I let go of expectations and I just surrender to life. I experience that nothing is missing when I am not selfish, when I stand out, when I put myself out of the picture by not being afraid and just give myself as a present. A gift to myself, to God. To this exercise. Nothing is missing when gratitude and freedom are the main actors. Nothing is missing when one doesn't stop him(her)self and just allow the stars to shine. Nothing is missing when one just opens the eyes and is willing to see the truth.

Text 4

Dear brothers and sisters, the 10 Day Retreat is about to start here at the Quinta.

I am walking trough the terraces, the garden, the rooms, everywhere and I look at myself and realize that there's no self here! There is love and passion walking, floating and breathing.

And then I saw that this happens when I stop resisting my deepest hearts longing.

There is such an huge expression of life and God here at the Quinta, in everyone and everything.

I am exploding of a sweet and tender love. Everyone is. And I wanted to express that here.

I want to surrender even deeper to the Mystery, which I am realizing I am falling in love with.

What else is there to be other then a mysterious Mystery?

Much love to all

Raquel Perdigão

Text 5

"I am not good enough" - an illusion that looks real

Olá sisters and brothers.

I feel compelled to share with you my last experience.

An experience of diving deep into what I am. Once more, I saw myself surprised and shocked at the same time.

These past few days, I saw myself putting away everything that meant LIFE.

I saw my attachment to problems, to an identity of depression, to lack of something, to mistrusting life, to mistrust myself, to being sad and miserable. I saw the attachment to ego movements and my distraction for what life is.

How easy is to back away from myself! How easy is to identify myself with ego!

It is very humbling to be in this situation: how attached I am to suffering.

An ego backlash.

How amazing life has been? A LOT!

Looking at some situations I just think how humble I have to be and strong in my intention to be free. I have to choose at every second to be what I am, with no limitation and no separation.

I embraced Cynthia as my spiritual teacher, I embraced myself as her student, I embraced responsibility, I embraced Awakened Life Project as being me, I opened myself to receive from life (to be life), my family and David’s family, I am engaged to David in a committed and revolutionary way, I embrace David’s expression’s of love, I see my family growing… I committed to life and evolution in such a deep way that ego can’t stand it.

So, I write here my commitment to life! It doesn’t matter all my self images, specially the one that says: I am not good enough, I am not worth it, I don’t deserve to be alive and to receive love. The only important thing is to be strong in my intention to be free, to be what I am, with a lot of humility, in a dive into the unknown every single day!

Thank you for taking this journey together with me.

Much love

Raquel Perdigão

Text 6

Silent day at the Quinta.

Preparation for the men's retreat.

Stilness.

Strimming.

Meditation.

Cleaning.

Deepness.

Creation.

Joy.

Wonder.

Life.

Sacredness.

Awakened communication.

Webinar.

Evolution.

Everything is life.

Everything is evolution.

Text 7

Dear brothers and sisters, this women's retreat was a celebration of the mysterious sparkling life. That's how I see it now: an explosion of light in every awe that is expressed in such simple things as eating a homemade banana ice cream or looking at the stream running by.

And something that is really touching me deeply and that I am blown away is the connection/love/no 

separation that exists between the women. There is not even a between. There is no space between women. There is one.

There is no I and her. There is one woman. There is all the women from the past and the future, right here, right now.

There is one voice when we sing together.

There is one body when we walk naked in the forest.

There is one care when we clay our bodies.

There is consciousness when we meditate together.

There is one warrior when we fight together with our swords.

There is one love.

There is one mistery.

That is the mistery to me.

The love that is pouring now everywhere is quite overwhelming and is magical.

Looking at my sisters eyes I only see what I can describe as mysterious love. And looking around, the love for other human beings and nature it self, is the same!

It's incredible! There is no separation! There is no limitation!

I am blown away...

Text 8

Dear Sangha, what a joy to read you, to be with you. I am very grateful to be this Sangha, again and again and again.

I want to share with you that me and David started a couple holon last night. It came as an impulse to go deeper in our inquire as a couple. As we saw ourselves being so occupied with other things to do. There is so much happening that it can't be ignored, it cannot not be inquired.

I have been experiencing a deep pain not only in my physical body, but through it I sense a deeper pain. A pain that is beyond me, and yet, it feels so big, intense and me! This pain body was reactivated through our love making - as more love was being shared by David, more pain I was feeling. In every orgasm, I felt it like my body was being cut into small pieces and the only way that I thought it was possible to be with it was by crying. Even talking about it at the time, it felt that something was missing.

After this, I could see myself backing away from David - not wanting to make love, not wanting to speak or when we spoke about things I would come across very angry, like I was possessed! I had phases of being nasty with him and separated, mixed with times of deep love and togetherness. Very unstable.

In our holon yesterday, I felt uncomfortable, not heard, having to prove myself, small and at the same time a lot of important things were said by both.

Waking up today I had more clarity:

- I am not my body; I am not the pain that I have been experiencing

- Lately I have been identifying myself with this pain and relating to David and life from it

- Going deeper into the contemplation of the pain body, I could see that I was identifying myself with a female pain body. "I am a woman, therefore, I am this pain, this injustice that men have been doing to women, abused by men"

- There was a projection towards David just because he is a man

- Identifying with the pain body supports my small me in putting David down

- I could see how deeply that is still a mistrust in men generally

- I was strongly trying to show him how he is acting from his male conditioning, wanting to prove his superiority and my inferiority

- I was insisting in the gender war "guerra dos sexos" and not allowing us just to be as we are - I was taking a position by being a woman and insisting that he was taking a position as a man

- I could see that I think that women understand other women better than men, and just accepting this without freeing myself from this limitation, because this is changing

- In all of this there was a strong movement of seeking for another experience, not accepting what was

- I see now These moments of tension and friction as evolutionary moments, not just intense and uncomfortable

- I got in touch with guilt and a deep tension around men. Guilt because I want to follow my deepest wills and tension because I don't trust men

- Going with the pain, mistrust and tension gave strength to Ego, the small me that insists that I am small and wrong and therefore, is better to hide myself

- Insisting that I am small feeds my low self worth. it's arrogant towards who I am and it's not accepting life. Not accepting what is given to me. By this, I don't let life in. I don't let David in. I resist to both. In a physical and verbal way. I don't accept myself.

Do I want to insist on this? NO!

When I let all of this go, the only thing that comes is love and a strong will just to be together beyond gender. Just to be as human beings accepting all our human experiences and living life simply.

 

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About the project

The Awakened Life Project is situated in a beautiful and wild ecological reserve in the mountains Central Portugal. We offer volunteer programs, courses, events and retreats to support the liberation of the human spirit in a context of evolutionary emergence and communion with the ecological web of life.

Contacts

Quinta da Mizarela
3305-031 Benfeita
Portugal

info@awakenedlifeproject.org
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