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These two months of the Transformation Intensive were comparable to the metamorphosis of a butterfly...I know I'm different. I know I am more aware . I know I'm lighter and that I have more clarity. I know I'm more transparent...
I know I 'm not afraid to be who I am and show it to the world. I know I am as big as the cosmos! I know I'm capable of more, always. I know I still have more to grow. I know I have a unique voice that longs to sing its song. I know I also have an ego that thrives on desire and fear. But I know that I am bigger than that! I know my deepest and purest Being is gigantic. I know the world does not revolve around me and yet I am the world. I know I want to be FREE more than anything else in the world!
I feel my heart full of love and gratitude for these past two months at the Awakened Life Project on the beautiful farm of Quinta da Mizarela, for all that I have become and will always be: Free!
This heart that now beats as ever before, sounds to me like a new song . A cosmic music...
The gratitude flows for these months in a magical place. The foot of a mountain surrounded by trees full of life, and running water that taught me to be transparent and real .
Gratitude for the animals that taught me to be happy every day and give myself and surrender to love...
Gratitude for the people who surrounded me. For the people who have lived with me every day and taught me so much.
Yes, my heart is filled with love for this beautiful family. For Pete, Cynthia, Duarte, Andrea, Mim, Glen, Marko and Laura. Love and gratitude for Céline, Esa and Vaso, my companions in this Transformation Intensive.
On the first day I wrote in my notebook: I AM YOU , YOU ARE ME ! Little did I know that I would live this Truth in a way that I could never have imagined...
When I wrote my letter of application I was the most transparent I could be then. I was full of fear at times because I knew this adventure would challenge me. But I was certain that I didn't want fear to control me. I wanted to detach myself from a little self that I knew I did not want to be. I knew that doing the Transformation Intensive would allow me to make the world more free, conscious, beautiful and better. I remembered Ariações (a portuguese music writer and singer) singing " change your life you are always in the time for a change". And it was time to act, leaving the intention to change.
So during these two months I experienced it all...I knew that ineffable happiness, nothing and everything, the beauty beyond words, the solid earth and the spiralling cosmos were within me. And at times I also experienced how all these understandings and revelations were trampled by the part of me that did not want anything to do this : the ego.
How to deal with it? That is a big question that all of us who want to embody our True Self need to face...
I was given the tools for my own transformation: My intention was clear everyday, I recognized I had the power of choice, and I commited myself to facing everything and avoiding nothing to the best of my ability. Daily meditation became essential and I realized how it was the deepest and the strongest foundation for a new self in a new world.
Dont fool yourself if you think that meditation is always pretty or easy, but it is possible to meditate every day with a strong commitment and it will lead us to our deeper, purest and beautiful Self. I committed myself to meditate at least two hours a day and so I did. Getting up to meditate was always a pleasure - it woke me up for Life and for the varied tasks that we did on the Quinta. I learned not to judge and battle with my experience - things are the way they are. I stopped putting labels on everything that happened to me . It was a struggle not having future expectations - after all I am human and I need to know the meteorology in advance! But it is possible !
The practice of Yoga and daily exercise made me flexible in the things I do, think and say. The healthy diet allowed me to detoxify of so many bad things that remained in my organs and on my skin. The icy water of the waterfalls woke me up, cleaned me and invigorated me. How could this water open my heart even further?
I discovered a trust in these people that was deeper than my mind. I had to realize that " a broken heart was a heart open to love."
I surrended myself to this process of change - I gave myself fully to the cosmos . And I realized that Life is what I make of it : here I was happy every day!
Was it possible to love Nature even more than I already did? Was it possible to be even more creative? Was possible to change even more? Every day the answer was: YES!!! A Big Yes to this beautiful transformation.
Now I am more aware of the fear that imprisoned my communication, my relationship to life . Now I know I can trust the Universe / " God." Because I know that I am part of a whole that is very big. I feel a huge responsibility in me, to the world and to Life.
I'm with eyes open and I know that it is now impossible to go back to sleep. Yes God, I woke up! What a miracle! I know you know and you know that I know, so there's no turning back!
Any of my days now is the "first day of the rest of my life" (like Sérgio Godinho sings). Because the past is past . And the path is straight forward...
My heart is full of love, gratitude and faith in LIFE!
I Thank Universe/God for creating me in this life and for the opportunities that You give to Me.
Raquel Perdigão, Porto
Listen to the song "The First Day of the Rest of Your Life by Sérgio Godinho with English subtitles.